2011-09-28 所属栏目:英语笑话

A Man of Actions
　　A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. You can have no doubt, shouted a young man excitedly, that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me

2011-09-27 所属栏目:英语笑话

West Point My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several vi

2011-09-27 所属栏目:英语笑话

THE FIRST TIME Patient: I'm so frightened, this is my first operation. Surgeon: I know just how you feel. This is my first operation, too. 第一次 病人：我很害怕，这是我第一次动手术。 外科医生：我完全

2011-09-27 所属栏目:英语笑话

A woman got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her all she had to do was to take it home and blow in the tailpipe u

2011-09-26 所属栏目:英语笑话

Three WhistlesI promised my girlfriend a gold necklace for her birthday, but when the jeweler quoted a price for one we liked, I let out a long, low whistle. And how much are they then? I asked, point

2011-09-26 所属栏目:英语笑话

Talking clock
会说话的钟 While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. What is the big brass gong and hammer for? one of his friends asked. That

2011-09-26 所属栏目:英语笑话

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door o

2011-09-24 所属栏目:英语笑话

My Husband Will Be Home Soon A married man was visiting his girlfriend when she requested that he shave his beard. Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face. James

2011-09-24 所属栏目:英语笑话

Sleeping PillsBob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake be

2011-09-23 所属栏目:英语笑话

Imitate BirdsA man tried to get a job in a stage show. What can you do? asked the producer. Imitate birds, the man said. Are you kidding? answered the producer, People like that are a dime a dozen. We

2011-09-23 所属栏目:英语笑话

Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains

2011-09-23 所属栏目:英语笑话

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒

2011-09-22 所属栏目:英语笑话

How Much Is It?It was winter, and Mrs. Hermann wanted to do a lot of shopping, so she waited until it was Saturday, when her husband was free, and she took him to the shops with her to pay for everyth

2011-09-22 所属栏目:英语笑话

Weather PredictA film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, Tomorrow rain. The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the di

2011-09-21 所属栏目:英语笑话

MODERN LIFE Two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands' faults. We've been married fifteen years, one woman said, and every night after dinner my husban

2011-09-21 所属栏目:英语笑话

I WANT A NIGHTMARE Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, Mom, I had a dream last night that I' passed today's exam. Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams u

2011-09-21 所属栏目:英语笑话

Teacher: Walter, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.Walter: What was it?Teacher: Eggs.Walter: Wrong. That was yesterday.老　师：沃尔特，你为什么不洗脸?我看

2011-09-20 所属栏目:英语笑话

Mushroom and Toadstool Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool? Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushro

2011-09-20 所属栏目:英语笑话

My Boss and I When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don't do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn't do it, he is too busy.When I do something withou

2011-09-20 所属栏目:英语笑话

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and

2011-09-19 所属栏目:英语笑话

What soldiers? Wife: Dear! Take a look at those soldiers gawking at the lovely young girl passing by. Husband: Soldiers? What soldiers? 什么士兵？ 妻子：亲爱的！快看那些士兵，他们看经过的那位漂亮女郎都

2011-09-19 所属栏目:英语笑话

A Gentleman Dick was seven years old，and his sister，Catherine．was five．One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes． The ch

2011-09-19 所属栏目:英语笑话

Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.顾客：服务员，我盘子里怎么只有一块肉？服务员：先生，请稍候，我去把它切成两块。

2011-09-18 所属栏目:英语笑话

A Girl's Wish On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were

2011-09-18 所属栏目:英语笑话

On her return from school，little Dolly，aged ten，was pulled on to her Daddy's knee，and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise a little baby brother．She see med glad，and pr