2011-05-26 所属栏目:英语笑话

I Want Her to go Nuts
　　Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.
　　But

2011-05-25 所属栏目:英语笑话

I Could Do It Slower
Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth?
Dentist: Fifty dollars.
Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work?
Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you

2011-05-25 所属栏目:英语笑话

The Fourth Element
　　Teacher: What are the four element of nature?
　　Student: Fire, air, earth, and... and ...
　　Teacher: And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with?

2011-05-24 所属栏目:英语笑话

A preacher is buying a parrot
　　Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear? asked the preacher.
　　Oh absolutely. Its a religious parrot, the storekeeper assures him.
　　Do you see those str

2011-05-24 所属栏目:英语笑话

Rope or Ox?
　　The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dir

2011-05-23 所属栏目:英语笑话

Lifetime Warranty
　　After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin hed originally wanted. So we exhumed the b

2011-05-23 所属栏目:英语笑话

Class, Lass and Ass
　　Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day,
　　so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow.

2011-05-22 所属栏目:英语笑话

The Problem of Two Flounders
　　Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of the one that got away. But there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders.

2011-05-22 所属栏目:英语笑话

Your Coat Is on Fire
　　The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to count fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important

2011-05-21 所属栏目:英语笑话

　　A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University.“You can have no doubt,”shouted a young man excitedly,“that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I

2011-05-20 所属栏目:英语笑话

　　A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on

2011-05-20 所属栏目:英语笑话

　　A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
　　"I am afraid that he is dead

2011-05-19 所属栏目:英语笑话

　　A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot.
Mom: But I've got a nice teapot.
Kate: No, you haven't. I've ju

2011-05-19 所属栏目:英语笑话

慎重许愿Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that b

2011-05-19 所属栏目:英语笑话

A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema. When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to the ticket seller, "Two tickets, please. "W

2011-05-18 所属栏目:英语笑话

　　A smart housewife
　　A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "Thatll be terrific! Si

2011-05-18 所属栏目:英语笑话

A Soldier's Brilliant IdeaMr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on t

2011-05-17 所属栏目:英语笑话

　　Never Mind
　　　
　　A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, even the brake pedal!" he cried out.
　　However, b

2011-05-17 所属栏目:英语笑话

St Peter's question 圣彼德的问题　　Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they appear in front of St Peter. St Peter tells them that they have to answer one question in order t

2011-05-17 所属栏目:英语笑话

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, d

2011-05-16 所属栏目:英语笑话

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool

2011-05-16 所属栏目:英语笑话

The Choice of Word
　　One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said Da-Dy to the baby many times. John felt very h

2011-05-16 所属栏目:英语笑话

　　It's His Fault
　　　
Billy and Bobby were brothers, and they often had fights with each other.Last Saturday their mother said to them, "I'm going to cook our lunch now. Go out and play in t

2011-05-13 所属栏目:英语笑话

　　"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."　　"That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"　　"No, but I am always thirsty!"
　　中文：
　　一个

2011-05-13 所属栏目:英语笑话

A Bad Impression（坏印象）My husband and I are both writers. During dinner conversations, we often tell our children about our working days. It wasn't clear how much they absorbed until one day I ove