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备考辅导:SAT优秀作文欣赏(8)

Source: 互联网    2012-03-03  我要投稿   论坛   Favorite  

  Score Explanation SAT写作6分范文点评

  This response demonstrates clear and consistent mastery. The writer effectively and insightfully develops the point of view that "the human conscience will limit the motivation of greed and inspire good works for the sake of morality." By focusing on fictional, historical, and personal examples of conscience as a compelling force, the writer demonstrates outstanding critical thinking. The first example is the fictional character of Huckleberry Finn, whose "loyalty, a facet of one's conscience, compels him to sacrifice his safety to ensure the well-being of others." The writer then moves to the historical figure Lyndon B. Johnson, who "pushed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 through Congress motivated by conscience and a desire to correct the immorality of racism in society." Finally, the writer offers the personal example of declining "more weighty positions on the newspaper . . . when there was someone better qualified." This essay organizes these clearly appropriate examples well, demonstrating clear coherence and a smooth progression of ideas. The essay exhibits skillful use of language and demonstrates meaningful variety in sentence structure ("Money, fame, and power are fleeting and insubstantial, for they can never mend the integrity sacrificed to obtain them. It is only when we act in the name of what is right that all of our possible talents may benefit ourselves, our peers, and our ideals"). Thus, this outstanding essay receives a score of 6.


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