英语笑话:乡绅

In a small pretty village in Notting ham shire there formerly lived a respectable Squire， who excelled all his friends in amusements athletic， and whose manner of living was far from ascetic． A wife he had taken for better or worse， whose temper had proved an intolerant curse；but at length， to his great and unspeakable joy， she died when presenting a fine little boy．Strange fancies men have；the father designed to watch o’er the dawn of his son's youthful mind，that，only approached by the masculine gender， no room should be left him for feelings more tender．Had I ne’er seen a woman， he often would sigh，What Squire in the country so happy as I！ The boy was intelligent， active， and bright， and took in his studies uncommon delight；no juvenile follies distracted his mind； no visions of bright eyes， or damsels unkind， and those fair demisisterly beings so gay， ycleptpretty cousins， ne’erpopped in his way； till at length this remarkably singular son could number of years that had passed twenty one．

Now the father had settled， his promising son should his studies conclude when he reached twenty one；and he went，with a heart beating high with emotion， to launch the young man on life's turbulent ocean．As they entered the town，a young maiden tripped by， with a cheek like a rose， and a lightlaughing eye．O father， what's that？ cried the youth with delight， as this vision of loveliness burst on his sight．O，that， cried the cautious and politic Squire， who did not they outh's ardent glances admire，is only a thing called a Goose，my dear son ；we shall see many more ere our visit is done．

Blooming damsels now passed with their butter and cheese，whose beauty might even an anchorite please：Merelygeese！ said the Squire，don't mind them，my dear；thereare many things better worth looking at here． As onwards they passed， every step brought to view some spectacle equally curious and new；and the joy of the youth hardly knew any bounds， at the roped ancers， tumblers， and merry gorounds．

As soon as the tour of the town was completed， the fatherre solved that the boy should be treated； so， pausing an instant，he said，My dear son， a new era today in your life has begun；now of all this bright scene and the gayeties in it，choose whatever you like，it is yours from this minute．Choose whatever I like？ cried the jouthful recluse．O， thank you，dear father， then give mea goose！